13 Apr The way people view you
The way people view you
A friend shared a Facebook post from Cody Bret this morning, and it reminded me of something that happened last year at a marketplace event.
People have different opinions of others all the time. But you can miss out on golden moments and even friendships if you listen to others without weighing up how it feels for you.
One person may have had a great interaction with someone, and the next person will have a completely different experience.
It’s determined by their own inner workings, as well as the energy at play on the day.
My experience of this
So back to 2023 at the marketplace event: A person was arriving for their spiritual alignment in the moon chair.
At the same time, there was a discussion taking place behind me that I wasn’t paying attention to, but I distinctly heard the words “Your energy is all off!”
It threw me a little, because I thought that sounded a bit harsh, I wondered who they were talking about. Trying not to let it rattle me, I continued what I was doing.
Which was focusing on ensuring our client arriving for a session with Jason felt welcome, comfortable, and safe.
This client by the way, ended up having quite a profound experience. They even stopped by the healing room a couple of days later to thank us, on their way back up the coast.
So as we were packing up that afternoon at the event, Jason told me what had happened earlier.
Boundaries!
He said that a child around 12 had come around the back of our space and started handling (without asking, and NOT carefully) his healing tools. Jason asked please to not touch them (as the sign on his table clearly states) because they are delicate and he prefers that people look, but don’t touch.
Jason directed them to the front of our space where we had a range for sale that they are welcome to touch.
Apparently the reaction to this boundary being expressed was quite something. The crystals were immediately dropped back onto his table and a huff ensued.
The parent then responded, perhaps from embarrassment by hurling, “Your energy is all off” at Jason before leaving the scene.
The different viewpoints
What’s interesting upon reflection, is that I’m sure the story has been retold by all who encountered it from their many perspectives.
- Some saw the child roughly handling precious and breakable crystals and thought “that’s bad behaviour!” and silently congratulated Jason for asserting his needs in that moment, which was the safety of his crystals.
- Some might have seen the interaction and thought Jason could have worded his response more gently. Fair enough – AND when hundreds of dollars of crystals are about to be irreparably broken, you don’t always respond as skilfully as you’d like.
- Some would have sided with the parent and thought that Jason should just have let it play out because kids will be kids.
- Some would have thought that casting those words out during the morning of an all day event was pretty mean-spirited.
- Some might have heard the words and thought “I wonder what’s going on below the surface for that person, for them to have delivered such harsh words?”.
Any ideas where my head went?
My take on the situation
After I got over the shock of having had someone treat Jason’s beloved crystals so poorly, I ended up at the last one. I admit it took me a minute, but I got there.
What I did find sad though, is that if anyone considering coming in for a session that day overhead the words that morning, they may have decided against it.
And they would have missed out.
We can be quick to judge
I can think of times where:
- I’ve taken on board someone else’s experience with a colleague, a reader, a healer… whoever
- I’ve ignored the opinion about a particular colleague, reader, healer etc.
As a result of ignoring an opinion, admittedly I have had mixed experiences. BUT I got to learn more about that person, about myself, and in some cases terrific working relationships were formed which I would have missed out on, had I heeded the opinions of others.
The same can be said from taking on board others’ experiences and the advice they have given to be careful of a certain individual. I’ve had instances where I’ve been profoundly grateful for heeding the warning. BUT I’ve also missed out at times, and regretted not engaging the person or interacting with them.
You see, we all need the chance to check things out for ourselves and use our own discernment.
Having said that, don’t let your instincts of self-preservation keep you so fearful, that it prevents you from experiencing things that may well prove to be beneficial for you.
Have you had times where you’ve both ignored and heeded the experience of someone else? Did you wish you’d done differently?
The post that inspired this blog
“The way people view you.
Sometimes I think about the different characters I play in everybody’s story.
I’m a terrible person in some people’s narratives and a Godsend in others.
And none of it has anything to do with the person I truly am.
The lens that others view you through is coloured by their upbringing, beliefs, and individual experiences.
Some people see your bright personality as endearing and others see it as annoying.
Some people think you’re weak and emotional and others feel safe to be themselves around you.
Some people think you’re rude and selfish and others respect the way you stand up for yourself.
Some people admire the way you take pride in the way you look and others think you’re conceited.
And none of it has to do with who you truly are as a person.
What you have to understand is that you have no authority over how people view you so never try to control the way others see you because the only thing that truly matters when the dust settles down at the end of the day is what you genuinely see in yourself.”
Be you AND be generous
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Best wishes for your return to balance, because we’re all here to shine our light into the world!
Shelley McConaghy
Divine Balance
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